WHY NO ONE EATS GREEN EGGS AND HAM

“Think left and think right

and think low and think high.

Oh the thinks you can think up,

if only you try!” 

 

Born March 2, 1904, in Springfield, Massachusetts, Theodor Geisel was most likely a pivotal part of your childhood. He may have also helped you bring joy into the lives of your children. For some of you, he may have already infiltrated the world of your grandchildren as well.

A wordsmith with few equals when it comes to the realm of children’s books, this master of rhyme and practitioner of reason was known and beloved as Dr. Seuss.

From German decent, the chosen pen name was originally to be pronounced “Soice” as in “voice,” but popular culture pronounced it with English tones, naturally rhyming it with “Goose” as in the mother, also acclaimed for literary compilations designed for children (there was no actual Mother Goose). Being associated with Mother Goose made the name more memorable, and thus Geisel warmed to the mispronunciation.

With a few early publications finding popularity in the market for children’s books, Geisel was issued a challenge by his publisher, Bennett Cerf, to write a book, suitable for publication as a tale from Dr. Seuss, comprised of no more than 50 different common English words. With pen in hand, the good doctor went to work and introduced the world to a character named Sam, who lived to trumpet the irresistibility of Green Eggs and Ham.

The book quickly soared in popularity upon release and still ranks as Geisel’s most memorable work, rivaled only by The Cat in the Hat and One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. Dr. Seuss had won the bet with Cerf impressively, producing what stands today as the fourth best-selling children’s book of all time. So tight was the final word count that only one of the two main characters is named – SAM.

The book is used by many to teach lessons that the message must be consistent, persistence pays off, you should never, never, never, never give up, and the primary lesson to children: Be open to trying new things!

On the backside of all this fame and widespread popularity and at the risk of sounding like a faint voice calling from the last row of section 317, I’d like to know why no one eats Green Eggs and Ham.

The mind of our unnamed character was completely changed by the end of our tale. His final assessment was that Sam’s offering was a five-star dish, suited to any setting.

 

Say! I like Green Eggs and Ham!
I do! I like them, Sam-I-am!
And I would eat them in a boat!
And I would eat them with a goat…
And I will eat them in the rain.
And, in the dark. And, on a train.
And, in a car. And, in a tree.
They are so good, so good you see!

So I will eat them in a box.
And, I will eat them with a fox.
And, I will eat them in a house.
And, I will eat them with a mouse.

And I will eat them here and there.
Say! I will eat them ANYWHERE!

I do so like Green Eggs and Ham!
Thank you! Thank you, Sam-I-am!

 

What happened? If this combination of Green Eggs and Ham is so incredibly delicious, then why isn’t the dish served the world over in all the finest restaurants? Why can’t I find Green Eggs or Green Ham at Publix?

Why? Why? For crying in the sink, WHY???

Seriously! Why didn’t anyone tell the Cat in the Hat about this?
It could have quelled chaos, making his visit bliss.

Surely, he would have told Thing 1 and Thing 2.
This sounds perfect for kids with nothing to do.

What about the Sneetches? Shouldn’t they know?
Forget about stars, this could’ve stolen the show.

They could have been mass produced in some fancy machine,
If only someone had told Sylvester McMonkey McBean.

And, what of the Lorax? He spoke for the trees.
I’m sure had he known, he’d have spoken for these.

The Onceler was famous for his assembly line.
Had only he known, the whole world could’ve dined.

Why no one told Horton, I haven’t a clue.
Surely he would have shared it with each little Who.

And, had it caught on in Whoville, then who’s really to say
If the Grinch would have plotted to steal Christmas Day?

And, Yertle’s a Turtle. This I very well know.
But knowledge is King, even if news travels slow.

So why didn’t anyone say? Why didn’t anyone tell?
How come Mr. I’m A Believer didn’t stand up and yell?

To sort it all out, there just isn’t the time.
But, I’ll tell someone about your discovery,
If you’ll tell them about mine.

 

For the ultra-curious, here’s the composite list of 50 words used:

a, am, and, anywhere, are, be, boat, box, car, could, dark, do, eat, eggs, fox, goat, good, green, ham, here, house, I, if, in, let, like, may, me, mouse, not, on, or, rain, Sam, say, see, so, thank, that, the, them, there, they, train, tree, try, will, with, would, you.

This post is republished on Thanksgiving Day each year…
I hope you’ve enjoyed your time with family.

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